This blog was originally designed to lead my readers through the rough waters of writing, when I was wading knee deep in words that were swimming gleefully around me ready for me to pluck from the shallows, and when I was battling storms where the way ahead was so dark and full of fury that it didn’t seem like I would see it through to the next dawn.
On reflection, my online journey began because I was following the school into a shallow pool of blogs with the intention of building my “platform” like everyone else. I did so blindly and the pool I found myself in was filled with silt and once I was there I lost my purpose.
This platform that I speak of, was not a pulpit where the Pope might stand and people would lend themselves to their wisdom and utterings of hope, it was in reality a crate in the corner of the room where I sat and spoke, mostly to no one.
And when I think of my platform now, I’d prefer the dusty corner to the pulpit anyway.
I’ve been doing some soul-searching. In amidst this mumbling in the corner, I realised that I wasn’t blogging for me. I was blogging for someone else. For a fictitious person who was there to judge my words and throw my creative heart into the boiling cauldron. Add in a dash of stress, a dragon’s tooth, the blood of your first born with some family responsibility and I realised that I’d lost part of myself.
Then even as I realised that something was missing I couldn’t think of how to get it back. Life became a tangle of more and more responsibilities and the only thing I knew was that tomorrow was going to be different from today and without feeling whole, tomorrow became a burden.
“The only thing that makes life possible is permanent, intolerable uncertainty: not knowing what comes next.” – The Left Hand of Darkness, Ursula K. Le Guin.
I’ve changed my outlook on creativity. Gone are the days where I spend hours scrolling the internet for inspiration. The world is a big place, big enough to inspire even the likes of me if I let it. I just have to remember that I want it to. Since posting my Sunday Morning theme for the fortnight, I’ve been overwhelmed by moments where I realised I had it wrong.
“We would do well to slow down a little, focus on the significant and truly see things that matter the most.” – Dieter F. Uchtdorf
And I’ve made time to daydream again because I believe daydreaming is as essential to our creative process as the necessary stimulants and intelligent conversation. Let’s fill our heads with the noise of new words and of memorable music.
Daydream with me. Gather your courage and your determination and join me in creating some remarkable things. As selfish as it sounds, this blog needs to be about what makes me happy in order for it to be genuine. It’s genuine and not something for someone else. It’s a scrapbook of ideas about my penning words one in front of the other, and about sharing this love.
“Courage, dear heart.” C.S. Lewis.